What’s TA Climbing Next? Clue #4

Alright! Things are heating up in the guessing department. I’m loving how you are all catches some of the subtle clues in the images and putting it together with some google or bing action to come up with all new options for my climbing list. I truly think the list will never get any shorter. See if you can get all the pieces to add up…or not…maybe all the connections are in my mind only 🙂 No seriously, some folks are getting close! What’s TA climbing next?

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What’s TA Climbing Next? Clue #3

OK. I know many of you are dying to know. Feeling impatient and wanting me to just spill the beans. Here is another clue to help you guess what I am climbing next…put all the pieces together from the images and make a guess. First correct guess will get a souvenir from the climb. Post your guess to the comments section below. The climb is occurring in December.

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What’s TA Climbing Next? Clue #2

We all know I love hockey.  Probably more than I love climbing mountains (but don’t tell anyone).  I usually like to play forward but on Fridays I play D.  I love to score but even more, I love to deliver a perfect pass.  Someday I’ll have to get to one of those racing events in Quebec where they skate down mountains in luge-like tracks…until then, I’m glad to say I have a new climb in my future and I invite you to guess which.  I’ll release a photo clue each day and readers can guess. First correct guess will get a souvenir from the climb. Post your guess to the comments section below. The climb is occurring in December.

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What’s TA Climbing Next? Clue #1

So after months of hemming and hawing, sorting and sighing, planning and proposing, looking and logisticating…I’ve finally decided what to climb next BUT I’m not telling just yet. In the spirit of fun and frivolity, I’ll release a photo clue each day and readers can guess. First correct guess will get a souvenir from the climb. Post your guess to the comments section below. The climb is occurring in December.

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Visual Soliloquy #18

It’s Wear Purple Day so I only thought it fitting that I find a photograph that wears some too!

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Visual Soliloquy #17

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

–Aeschylus

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Visual Soliloquy #16

The day was here. The woman stopped rocking in her chair.

Pushing off the arms, she stood. She swayed some but caught her balance.

She looked back towards the front door. She looked out to the awakening day.

Her decision made, the woman turned her back on the house, and strolled off the porch.

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Visual Soliloquy #15

The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time.

It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life.

When we do not do the one thing we ought to do,

we have no time for anything else–we are the busiest people in the world.

–Eric Hoffer

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Wanted: Unconditional Confidence

Howdy,

Sunday has rolled around again. After a year’s hibernation, I’m back attending a Buddhist retreat this weekend called, “Wisdom in Everyday Life.” I’m appreciating being back within the community of the Sangha, which has been a critical part of my existence over the past half decade. The teachings are giving new fodder for reflection, thought, and understanding as well as many opportunities for conversation. Inevitably, our talks come round to the past year, which for me has been filled with many peaks and valleys.

 

Climbing Through the Khumbu Icefall

Climbing Through the Khumbu Icefall during Everest 2010

 

First off, let me express my heart-felt congratulations to Eric Larsen. I met him in 2009 at the polar training I attended in Iqaluit. He was in the midst of training and preparation for an ambitious year where he would attempt to reach the South Pole, North Pole, and the top of Mount Everest in one year. With the three expeditions, Eric aimed to increase awareness of global warming and the impact of such on the Polar Regions.

Two days ago, Eric got his hat trick with the first fall summit of Mount Everest in four years. With his team the only one left on the mountain, in a tough fall for Himalayan weather conditions, they found a small weather window in which to push to the top. Given the impossibility of a North Pole expedition in the fall, Eric had to plan and execute his Everest climb in the much quieter, less resourced autumn climbing window. I followed his blog daily and what I appreciated most about Eric’s take on the mountain was that he was willing to speak of his fear. Climbing Mount Everest can be terrifying if we are truly awake to its dangers but it’s rare (in my experience) that anyone will speak of the intense emotions that can arise on the mountain.

Eric mentioned the dangers and how he traversed them, both in body and spirit, during his daily updates. Having faced the same dangers and experienced some of the same emotions, I applaud Eric for naming them in public. In the context of Buddhism, we often talk of developing fearlessness by examining the nature of what scares us and choosing to face whatever it is. I’ve often agreed with the quote that goes something like, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward through/past the fear.” Congrats Eric–you pulled it (both managing your fear and your expeditions) off with grace, style and conviction.

In rejoining with dear friends of the Sangha, people have invariably asked what my experience of “The Mountain” was this time. As I answer the question over and over again, I get glimpses of the developing narrative that still has me puzzled about how I went from a sense of great personal strength and preparedness to a state of fragility-laden humility. Yesterday, our teacher, Moh spoke of the origin of the word humility–stating that it comes from the root humus, meaning ground. I’ve often had the experience of being humbled by altitude. The taxing nature of existing in low oxygen slows every task down including thought. For me, altitude grounds my ego and often strips away any veneer of confidence that I might trek in with.

 

Prayer flags on the Tibetan Plateau

Prayer flags on the Tibetan Plateau

 

In my book about my 2007 climb, I likened the experience of traversing the Khumbu Icefall with Tibetan Sky Burial.

As the fall steepened, it became almost easier, as rhythms of breath and step could be recalled from other high altitude challenges. Prior to this more vertical part of the icefall, I felt deeply humbled by every step and breath. Fixed lines and ladders appeared, and the process of clipping and unclipping my safety tether focused my attention. No longer could I luxuriate in the suffering part of my mind; instead, the terrain demanded every molecule of attention I could give it.

The experience was picking the meat off my bones in the way that vultures do in a Tibetan sky burial. As the icy shards I was climbing cut deep into the heart of my soul, I wasn’t sure how much of me would remain. Armed with my German grandmother’s stubbornness and strength, I knew the only choice was to continue to step through round after round of the icy knives before me and trust that I would survive the gauntlet.

Now, I describe my experience of the 2010 climb as if I were sky buried alive. That the three infections I had on the mountain, were like the Tibetan vultures, that both quickly and slowly picked my muscles, my strength, from my skeleton and left me as pile of glistening white bones. Stripped and humbled to my core, I’ve spent the past months cultivating the seeds of trust and confidence in myself once more. My awareness of this process, of course, is more heightened this weekend as the teachings have centered on confidence and trust.

In the words of Chogyam Trunpa, from Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior,
the warrior is…

settling down in your confidence–remaining solid and relaxed at once. You are open and fearless, free from longing and doubt…Your wakefulness and intelligence make you self-contained and confident with a confidence that needs no reaffirmation through feedback…enlightened confidence–not confidence in something, but just to being confident. This confidence is unconditional.

 

A Glimpse at Unconditional Confidence riding from Lhasa to Kathmandu

A Glimpse at Unconditional Confidence riding from Lhasa to Kathmandu

 

So I see that as my aim now, enlightened confidence: confidence that cannot be shaken or dislodged by bacteria, protozoa, nor circumstance. Confidence that is always there and really, has always been there save for when I cannot perceive it to be. As we are often reminded in the teachings, the sky is always there even when clouds obscure our view of it!

Thanks for reading. Have a great week.

TA

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Visual Soliloquy #14

“Our life is an endless journey… The practice of meditation provides a vehicle to travel on that road.” – Chögyam Trungpa

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Visual Soliloquy #13

The summit in view

So high in the air,

Congrats to Eric

For standing there!

Eric Larsen summitted Mount Everest this morning completing his Save the Pole Expedition. He skied to the South Pole, then the North Pole and then climbed Mount Everest–all in one calendar year!

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Visual Soliloquy #12

That there is a place somewhere in the middle-not the middle of the road but the middle way-someplace found my touching the edges to find the boundary of the possible-and then easing to a space that allows all possibilities and all of me to be there…

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Visual Soliloquy #11

Mountains are my teachers.

I teach like the mountains teach me. With vision. With struggle.

Asking students to reach up for an unknown sky,

I ask for mindful engagement–for to climb or teach or learn without,

leads to disaster.

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Visual Soliloquy #10

An Open Gate in Chile

In Honour of Miners Freed

Welcome Home

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Visual Soliloquy #9

Mountains are both solid and moving.

They are steady, wise, and seemingly unyielding while at the same time they are changing through erosion and time.

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Visual Soliloquy #8

You are exactly where you need to be, exactly on schedule.

Continue to seek experiences that move you and to create experiences that move others.

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Of Maps and Sweat Equity

Happy 10.10.10 and Happy Thanksgiving,

I don’t think I was all that clear last week when I announcing my new approach to weekly updates. For those folks who’ve been receiving your updates via gmail, you don’t need to join Facebook-sorry for any confusion. You can just visit my website and click on TA’s Blog and you’ll see any updates I’ve posted there. If you’d like to receive those updates as they are posted, you can subscribe on the site and chose to have them sent out to you daily, weekly or monthly. My blog’s web address is https://taloeffler.com/tas-blog/ (and for the next while, I’m keep sending out updates until I’m confident folks have found their feet with the new system).

I’m loving the new creative possibilities of my new site and have been celebrating for now with a daily post called “Visual Soliloquy” where I talk to myself with both words and pictures. I’m working to organize my digital photo library into a more manageable scene-with over 25,000 images, I need a robust system that makes is easy to find images as well as back them up. So along with revisiting much of the writing I’ve done over the past six years, I’ve been seeing images in all new ways and am enjoying sharing them.

 

A Topo map of Tilton, Newfoundland

A Topo map of Tilton, Newfoundland

 

I spent much of Monday hiking around the Tilton Barrens on Monday helping Marian and Nolan map out a new orienteering course. I tagged along as photographer. In the process, I remembered how much I love maps and how my relationship to a map changes once I have traversed the terrain it symbolizes. Topographical maps contain such a wealth of information that it’s hard to totally take in that bounty until you experience the place first hand. In both my work and play, I’ve had the privilege of creating an intimate knowledge and relationship with so many landscapes. In looking through so many images of late, I realize that I try to capture, explore, and share the nuances of those relationships through photography (and through words as well).

 

Hiking the Tilton Barrens

Hiking the terrain to double-check the map

Thursday, Marian and I drove the Irish Loop along the Southern Shore to pay a visit to Jacinta McGrath and Stella Maris Academy in Trepassey. During the spring of 2006, Jacinta (of Bachelor of Physical Education, Grand Canyon backpack and Everest base camp fame) invited me down to speak at her school. She knew I was aiming for Everest the following year and wanted her students to learn about what it takes to attempt the world’s highest peak.

 

Jacinta holding the HKR flag atop Nagarsang Peak in Nepal

Jacinta holding the HKR flag atop Nagarsang Peak in Nepal enroute to Everest base camp

 

 

TA presenting at Stella Maris Academy in May 2006

The First School: TA presenting at Stella Maris Academy in May 2006

 

It was the first school I spoke at in the province and had no idea, four years ago, that that engagement would lead me into sixty-five other schools in three different countries. I often say that when we identify and take on our personal “Everests”, we have no idea where they will lead us (and that’s half the fun).

Jacinta’s students sent me off both in 2006 and 2010 with hand drawn greeting cards that deliver mountains of inspiration to me to keep climbing and training hard.

 

Good Luck Ms. TA Loeffler

One of my favourite cards of all: Good Luck Ms. TA Loeffler

 

Given my current phase of looking forward and back right now, I so appreciated the opportunity to come full circle and be back at Stella Maris. In four years, their student numbers have almost dropped by half so I spoke to the entire K-12 school in one group. Of course, after the presentation, most of the questions came from the elementary students (it’s not “cool” for the older students to ask questions in an assembly.) After the presentation, one of the kids who’d asked a number of questions said to Jacinta, “Miss, I think I got a puffer fish inside me, I want to be a top chef and cook really good food – I think I can!” One “puffer fish” moment makes it ALL worth it!

 

Back at Stella Maris

TA comes full circle to present at Stalla Maris Academy in October 2010

 

Yesterday, Marian and I finished up our reclaimed wood deck project and then headed over the Hilary and Adrian’s new house to attend a painting party. Both Hilary and Adrian have been working incredibly hard all summer to renovate the house they bought last spring. They invited friends and family to come help move the painting along in one big collective effort. Seeing the transformation of both the entire house and the walls since I’d last been there, I thought a bunch about “sweat equity.” I suspect the hours and hours of work the new homeowners have put into their abode will deepen their relationship to the place/their place, (just as hiking through a landscape nurtures a different level of knowing and commitment than driving through it).

 

Putting in Sweat Equity on Signal Hill

TA and training buddies put in some sweat equity on Signal Hill February 2010

 

It reminds me of why I define an expedition as starting the moment I commit to it–why I spent a year on Denali rather than just the month of the actual climb–that I recognize(d) the critical importance of the journey, of sweat equity, of the process being as much the goal (or perhaps much more than) the product/summit.

 

Early morning start on Denali

Early morning start on Denali

 

Have a great week. I’m thankful to have you all cheering me on. With much gratitude,

TA

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Visual Soliloquy #7

Remember to be creative and risk-taking in all that you do.

Your greatest potential for growth comes with the greatest risk.

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Visual Soliloquy #6

Continue on your path.

Allow the light in and around you.

Deepen your faith and your connection to the light.

And to all persons in which the light is reflected to you.

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Visual Soliloquy #5

This path has barely begun.

I’m wanting the glory of the summit when I’ve barely left the parking lot…

this requires a long patient slog, over hills and through valleys and

being willing to put one foot in front of the other for hours and weeks and months.

Patience is a verb.

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Visual Soliloquy #4

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

— Dr. Seuss

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Visual Soliloquy #3

moving like day into night, fall into winter,

darkness into light, pain into healing,

youth into wisdom, birth into death

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Visual Soliloquy #2

Pumori in Early Morning Light

Pumori in Early Morning Light (from Western Cwm on Everest)

Views from high places. Stark understanding. Rising above.

Seeing nothing higher. Seeing in new ways.

This is what makes the hardship both bearable and worth it.

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Visual Soliloquy #1

Water flowing through a creek

Flow

Feelings flow like tides, moving in, moving out, moving through,

to the sea, running downhill,

picking up speed and momentum to claim what is rightfully hers and theirs and ours.

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Change is a Foot!

Howdy,

I spent much of the last week sick with a series of illness that piled up like cordwood over the week. A trip to the ER finally had me on the mend and I had a quiet week at home of sitting on my behind. I can’t remember a week where I sat like that at home in quite some time. It was a gift really. I used the opportunity to work on changing my website over to a new format.

I presented at a Digital Daisy workshop on Social Media the week before last. I’d hoped to pick up some inspiration and strategy since I knew my focus and energy in that regard were flagging. As I reflected on the past six years, I realized that I’d been using social media since the very beginning and with the help of folks at AppleCore Interactive, at been at the leading edge in using it for creating a support community and for expedition communications.

TA with AppleCore Interactive on the summit of Mount Elbrus

TA with AppleCore Interactive on the summit of Mount Elbrus

The technology and programming around social media is changing very rapidly and I found myself with an on-line presence in many different locations on the web and having to update each one individually. Add to that, that gmail almost shut me down last week because I had so much returned mail from last week’s update and I knew I needed to change things. I got so much returned mail because I had placed many embedded links within my email (a trick spammers use) so I got called a spammer.

Signed Yeti Footprint at the Rum Doodle

Everest 2010 Expedition Signed Yeti Footprint at the Rum Doodle

Give a solid history of one weekly email to you all, I could convince them that I wasn’t nefarious and they gave me my account back…so all of this is to say…there is change afoot!

I’ve created a new Facebook group called TA’s Adventures that Move. In the past, I’ve had a separate group for each climb–this group will mean people won’t need to sign up over and over again. You can sign up at this address: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=152824781418515

I also have a new website that will allow me greater control over my content and allow me to create weekly blog entries that contain links, photos, videos, and narrative with greater ease. I’ll also be able to email and phone in updates during expeditions. The URL will be the same: www.taloeffler.com. I’m in the process of changing things over so sometimes at the moment, you’ll see the old site and sometimes the new (it takes awhile for all the DNS servers to get updated).

My weekly updates will appear on my blog page and the best news is that you’ll be able to sign up to receive notifications of new updates (and greatest of all, be able to chose the frequency at which you’d like to receive them…daily, weekly, monthly). You’ll have complete control and I won’t have to manage each email address separately (yay!).

Please visit the new site over the next while and sign yourself up to receive updates…I’ll send out a few more weeks of updates as per usual via email but then will stop (except for very special announcements). I know I may lose a few of you in this process, if so, thanks so much for being a part of my support community. From far flung lands to the oxygen starved tops of mountains, from the depths of grief to the joys of shared adventures, I’ve appreciated having you there.

Leslie celebrating her arrival at Everest Base Camp

My friend and mentor, Leslie celebrating her arrival at Everest Base Camp

As I uploaded updates from over the past six years, I could re-appreciate what an amazing journey this has been. Last night while out for dinner at a Chinese restaurant, we all joked that we would use our fortunes for life direction for the next while. I pulled my cookie first and chuckled out loud when it said, “You enjoy sharing your dreams and plans with others.” I guess I’m on track! I look forward to harnesses my newly reclaimed energy and excitement for visual storytelling and sharing my dreams and goals with you.

Thanks,

TA

PS. Special thanks go out to Bill Driscoll for rescuing my wallet from Torbay Road when it jumped ship while I was motorcycling. He had it returned to me before I even knew it was missing and saved me the hassle and heartache of recreating the life that lives out of my wallet.

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Navigating the Landscape

Happy Equinox,

Hard to believe that summer is over and we’re heading for the darker part of the year.  I’ve always wanted the longest day of the year to be in August, not June.  That way, the loss of light would begin at the end of summer rather than in its midst.  But given the calendar was set long before I showed up, I’ll just have to cope.

Last Saturday morning, we awoke in a lovely campsite about 30 metres above waters of the St. Lawrence Seaway in Gros Morne National Park.  We finished our Long Range Traverse a few days early so we decided to add a hike to the Green Gardens to our agenda.   We also awoke to gunshots.  Very strange for any morning in the backcountry but even more strange for a national park.  Two guys in a dory were shooting towards the headland from their small boat.  Curious.  Then we noticed that there were white dots on the hillside.  Sheep!  We’d seen their tracks the days before (as well as their poop) and now we saw them scurrying for their lives down the way.  (Locals grazed their sheep there for centuries before the park existed).  The hunters/herders didn’t seem to hit any of them with their 20 odd shots but we wondering if they were just trying to harass or herd them.  Later in the day, the wardens thought it was as equally strange as we did but could offer no explanation.

Sunset

Sunset over the St. Lawrence Seaway from Green Gardens in Gros Morne National Park

The evening before we had a driftwood campfire on the beach.  It looked at first like an “ordinary” sunset of great ball of fire easing into the ocean would be served up but then with just minutes to go, clouds seemed to roar into place.  With their sculpture like shapes adorning the horizon, the sky was soon ablaze in a wash of deep orange and red.  It was probably one of the top five sunsets I’ve seen in my life.  We felt so lucky to be sitting on the beach basking in the glow of our fire and then to have our entire existence painted in the dancing light of that fire was incredible.

After waiting fourteen years to make it happen, the Long Range Traverse was incredible.  The hike out of the back of the gorge was a bit like a rock version of the Khumbu Icefall.  We surmounting the waterfall we had to haul ourselves up using branches to leverage ourselves up the very steep slope.  Up, over, around, with a few tight squeezes through some fallen boulders delivered us to one of the most photographed iconic views of Gros Morne National Park.  You can check out this view and other pictures from our trip here:  Gros Morne Picture Album

Camping in Gros Morne

Our new MEC Gemini tent pitched in one of the most scenic locations I have ever seen...looking over Western Brook Pond

We camped at the top of the waterfall and wonder at the visual splendor that surrounded us.  The wind was cold and cutting so we cooked up dinner and tucked ourselves into our new MEC Gemini ES tent.  On my trip to Ontario earlier in the summer, we’d discovered that our old tent was leaky and not a strong enough shelter for the potential conditions of the Long Range.  It turned out to be a fine tent except for the door zippers, which drive me crazy and it sure looked good nestled above the waterfall in a rocky nook.

The next day brought more clear weather and we headed up for the top of the gorge.  The navigation was easier than expected and we moved along quite quickly and ended the day at Hardings Pond.  That part of the Long Range houses the source of the Humber River so I’m currently enthralled with the possibility of traveling the Humber from source to sea.  A moose came with the new neighbourhood and we enjoyed watching him graze through the early evening.

The third day brought the toughest navigation because it required the crossing of two barren plateaus where it was hard to pick out the shapes of individual ponds.  Other than that, I was surprised that the navigation wasn’t more challenging.  We’d prepped well by bringing maps of different scales and kept a close tab on where we were and where we had to head to not be led astray but the multitude of game trails.  We didn’t even have to bash through much tuckamore.  The last day began with a river crossing to ford the creek that drains Green Island Pond.  It was a cold start to the day, our only grey, rainy and cold one, but I love the picture of Marian halfway across the stream.  I had fun calling her my “Hardcore Mountain Woman.”

Marian crossing the river in Gros Morne National Park on the Long Range Traverse

Marian crossing the creek that drains Green Island Pond

It was a foggy, low cloud day but we could still move by following the footpath left by others.  It’s startling the impact that our collective footsteps can have.  The Traverse in open from July through September and by September, there really is a “trail” of sorts.  We’d brought along a GPS but were proud that we never needed to use it to fix our location.  I think of off-trail/backcountry navigation as moving from moments where you absolutely know where you are through times where you don’t know exactly where you are (some might define this as lost) to times where you know exactly again.  It takes some experience to be tolerant with that state of unknowing.

I saw a connection to my life with this idea…there are times when I know that I am exactly on track–that my beliefs, actions, and passions are all in alignment and other times where I’m not sure what my path is.  I’ve gotten better at hanging out in the less grounded state and trusting that clarity about path and purpose will eventually reveal themselves and I don’t have the push the timing/decision-making along.  Though with the passing of my birthday this year, I seem to be more aware than ever that the life list might not all fit in so I want to choose carefully what I direct my life force/energy towards.  I feeling like I’m in one of those “between knowing” spaces right now.

TA striking a familiar pose in front of Gros Morne Mountain

TA striking a familiar pose in front of Gros Morne Mountain

The fog and clouds rose just as we were getting close to Gros Morne mountain and I got to experience somewhat of the view that I missed out last September when Marian and I climbed it in a driving rain.  We descended the steep gully that led to Ferry Gulch, lunched, and headed down.  We stopped by the Visitor’s Centre and got stoked about heading fro Green Gardens the next day.

Both before and after the trip, we enjoyed the hospitality of our Gros Morne “base camp”, The Ocean View Hotel.  Once again Todd Wight and his staff succeeded in making us feel welcome and the luxury of packing in and packing out in such luxury was delightful.  Todd even bailed me out when I’d screwed up the dates in our reservation!  Thanks Todd!

I’ve entered a video in the MEC Video contest called “Cinnamon Roll Meditation.”  It’s about baking cinnamon rolls in the backcountry.  The video needs to finish in the top five in its category to go onto the final round.  The grand prize is $2500 worth of MEC gear…that would go along way towards equipping several upcoming expeditions (whatever they turn out to be).  Please vote for my video here: http://bit.ly/9kkyLo MEC promises not to abuse your email and voting closes October 6th.  You can watch it below but you have to visit the URL above to actually vote.

Thanks in advance and have a good week,

TA

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A New Adventure

Howdy from Deer Lake,

I am typing my update in the Deer Lake Airport as I await the flight back home. I presented to the Newfoundland and Labrador Fire Service Association this morning and enjoyed sharing how climbing Everest and fighting fires are similar. As I am still digesting the climb I just came home from, I am slowly adding images and stories from the 2010 climb to the stories of 2007. The audience laughed this morning when I said, “TA used to stand for ‘Totally Awesome’ but now, thanks to Madame Edwards’ Grade Three class, it now translates to ‘Trying Again.’” As I prepared for this morning’s presentation, it was great to review the lessons I learned at Firefighting Camp Glow last summer and reflect on how that experience influenced my training and subsequent climb.

One of the results of spending two weeks in Kathmandu at the end of my Everest climb has been a renewed interest in riding a motorcycle. The chaotic streets were filled with hundreds of motorcycles transporting entire families, a wide variety of unruly loads, and an occasional chicken hanging upside down from the handlebars. I left Nepal with a renewed commitment to negotiate the barriers that had prevented me from riding at home for the past two years: lack of a bike, lack of a garage, and lack of funds. Perhaps the arrival this week of my 45th birthday signaled a harbinger of a new found awareness of my eventual (hopefully not too soon) mortality coupled with noticing the small yet incremental changes in my body (aging perhaps?) which led me to a new urgency in not wanting another riding season (very short here already) to go by without further development of my two-wheeled driving skills…

Thus multiple visits to dealerships in town, surfing the net until the week hours, devouring the local classifieds, and eventually the decision…to go for the Yamaha XT 250Z…actually two…so Marian and I can ride together because sharing a new learning experience and passion is much more fun than pursuing it on my own (and more likely). With an eventual goal of riding from the Alaska to Tierra del Fuego while climbing all the summits of the Americas as I head south, I thought it made sense “to crawl before I walked.” Even though in some pursuits I have started big (the first river I rowed was the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon), I generally like to build my skill set before a big adventure. I was indeed, startled this year on Everest to be sharing the mountain with teammates who were putting on harnesses and crampons for the first time.

So, the motorcycle was a birthday gift to myself, as well as a commitment to my dad’s legacy. He rode a motorcycle throughout his life and taught me to ride one as well along with other motor craft such as snowmobiles, boats, and ATVs. When I finally attended the motorcycle safety course in 2008, (Dad always maintained the course was a critical aspect of learning to ride), my dad offered me his motorcycle, a Yamaha Midnight Maxim 650, when he could no longer ride. His bike was big and a bit too tall for me (a Dachshund at 5’2”) so it went to my brother instead (I love that it is still in the family) and I went looking for the bike of my dreams (a BMW F650 GS). Through the jigs and reels and shockingly low inventory (not to mention the nearest dealership is in Moncton), they are hard to come by and it took me a full year to actually get to sit on one.

Anyone who has seen my car and my mountain gear will know that I quite fond of the colour orange these days. This year’s BMW F650 GS come in orange. That was almost enough to have me jetting across country to Kelowna to shepherd one home (thus forgetting the intent of starting small–nothing like one’s first ride being 6000 km long) but rationally prevailed and an appropriate first bike was procured locally with the long term goal of upgrading to the BWMer when skills, budget, and leg length allow.

In the end, the choice came down to the Honda 230 vs the Yamaha 250. Initially, when I was first back from the mountain (on my way to teach at BOW actually), we stopped in and I sat on the Yamaha and declared it too tall. A week later we sat on the Honda, Suzuki, and Kawasaki options before returning back to Yamaha. With a week of settling in and a bunch of motorcycle sitting later, I thought I could manage the Yamaha’s height. Until, of course, we went to pick it up yesterday. Suddenly, I wondered if I hadn’t overextended myself once again.

Michelle, an experienced rider, was kind enough to come along and ride the new bike to her country (i.e. quiet roads and not much traffic) home (complete with garage). When we arrived, she expressed her worry that the bike might be too tall for me as well. Butterflies made frantic attempts at escaping from my belly rather than flying in formation and I knew it was important to jump on the bike and start riding soon before I lost my nerve. I kept telling myself that the bike was the same height as the one I trained on in 2008 and I would be fine. While Michelle and Kellie readied their bikes, I jumped on, turned off my worried mind, turned on my full focus and attention to the multiple tasks necessary for riding a motorcycle and pulled out of the driveway without stalling! Wahoo! A quick jaunt around the neighbourhood reminded me that indeed, “It’s just like riding a bike” and knowledge and skills came flooding back.

The three of us headed out. Kellie was in the lead with me in the middle and Michelle was flanking the rear. My heart was a flutter as we pulled up to the stop sign guarding the entrance to the highway. It was atop a short hill and I’d have to start on a hill! I managed that without stalling and soon, the grin on my face was so huge, it threatened to split open the face shield on my helmet. I was riding a motorcycle, on a stunningly beautiful road beside the ocean, wearing my dad’s leather jacket and suddenly all was right with the world. Three or so decades after first holding tight to my dad as we rode out to the cabin on his motorcycle, I was following in my dad’s tire tracks in the month where he first wasn’t there to celebrate his birthday, Father’s day, and my birthday, with.

As the ride continued, I thought back to a Buddhist teaching that I had an embodied experience of, while climbing Denali. The teaching was that we are always “alone and together.” In a seeming paradox, we can be both on our own and in the company of others. On Denali, I first grasped this after 15 days on the glacier climbing as a rope team. Tied into a rope, 15 metres apart, we climbed in solitude–not able to converse or really know what was on the go for each other. But at the same time, we were truly tied together, moving in unison, responsible for each other’s safety net. We were paying close attention so we could fall on our ice axes and arrest of the fall of a teammate if necessary. We were both alone and together.

On my motorcycle yesterday, I felt the same way. I was alone on my bike. I was fully present and responsible for its operation and my safety on it. But at the same time, I was together on the ride with Kellie and Michelle, in tune with their movements and looking out for our collective safety. With their bikes, they enveloped me and filled my first ride with confidence and spaciousness (the cars had to go through them to get to me). Along with a delicious breakfast at The Sprout and new riding gloves, their presence was their tremendous birthday gift to me (not to mention a secure parking spot for my new ride while I sort out where to keep it in the city). Thanks gals!!!

The bike connects me to my dad’s memory and gives birth to a new range of adventurous possibilities. It provides a salve to the deep disappointment that fills me in quiet hours of early morn and pushes me to new heights of learning. I’m loving the growing excitement of the steep learning curve ahead and all of the lessons the bike will teach me. Now I just need to find the right name for it…

Have a good week,

TA

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Das Boot

Hey,

It’s Sunday once again and the time has been a blur. My mom was admitted to hospital about a week ago in serious condition and I’ve spent much of the week sending my love, prayers, and good thoughts to Edmonton. It’s hard to be so far away and I’m very grateful to my brother who has been stepping up and managing things on the Western front. Please include my family in your thoughts and prayers over the next while.

With my mom being sick and another friend passing away suddenly the week before, it’s been an intense time of grieving and being reminded about the preciousness and tenuousness of our existence. I try to keep that awaked-ness and appreciate and make the most of each moment, meal, and day though it’s so easy to be lulled into forgetting that this life will end.

I received a new pair of motocross boots for my birthday and they arrived in the mail. The first time I went to ride with them on the bike they felt so awkward and weird and confining that I instantly balked and changed them out for my more familiar hiking boots. I tried again the next day. Same reaction. That sense of unmanageability and panic was familiar. I felt it last at Camp Two on Mount Everest when I put on my down suit on the night I was trying to decide whether or not to continue up on my summit bid. Sometimes when I’m struggling to make a decision, I go down one of the paths a ways to sense how it feels to make that choice.

That evening, in the midst of a terrible hormonal pre-menstrual storm of typhoon proportion coupled with physical exhaustion from fighting my third bladder infection, the down suit seemed impossible to wear. I was triggered. I couldn’t fight or put down the rising sense of panic I had being in the suit. I knew it had nothing to do with the actual suit itself; it had to do with being rebounded or triggered into the past. It happens so much less often now than earlier in my life, but on that night, at 6500 metres above sea level, I couldn’t muster the clarity of thought to work with the panic on any level other than reptilian fight or flight. After a long night of see-sawing back and forth, go up, don’t go up, work with the panic, run away from the panic, go up, don’t go up, it was finally 3:30 am and time to make the final decision. At the moment of decision, I felt I didn’t have the resource and resilience, both physical and emotional, to venture higher on the mountain that day and be present enough to keep myself safe.

Unfortunately, later that morning when I decided to descend to base camp, I didn’t know that there would be another opportunity for a summit attempt (in fairness-no one did at that point). So assuming I’d just given up my only shot at the mountain, I packed up all my gear and carried a monster load down the mountain by myself in the early morning light. Had I known another attempt would be possible, I might have waited at Camp Two for a few days to see if I could regain enough strength and composure to continue climbing. I’d only had a four-day turnaround between my acclimatization trip to Camp Three and returning back up to Camp Two so more rest may have been helpful. Or not. It will be one of the questions I live with.

What does this have to do with motorcycle boots? Let me make the connection. What the boots have given me is yet another invitation to work with triggers from the past in a high-risk situation. Driving a motorbike and climbing Everest are both dangerous pursuits. Fortunately for me, I get several chances to drive my bike unlike a summit bid on Everest (plan for 3 years, raise 45,000 dollars, train for 12 months, and it all comes down to a three or four day period in late May where you get one shot at the summit…in most cases).

Here and now, I could try to drive with the boots, get freaked out and triggered by the feel of them, ride with my other boots and then come back the next day and try again. Same result. Try again another day when the parking lot was clear enough to get enough practice to be willing to go out on the street with them. Hate the boots for the first few hours and eventually do enough gear shifting to find a way to make the feel/fit work. I made peace with the feeling and the trigger and then reflected back to what happened on that night in Camp Two.

Even though I practiced in the down suit here as much as I could, I will practice more next time. I will also practice working with all of my triggers whenever they present themselves. I don’t want them to have power in my life anymore, so I will as Pema Chodren suggests, “Run towards the biting dog,” instead of running away. Steer into the groundlessness instead of away. And in all things, be compassionate with myself…I did the best I could that evening and in all the times I couldn’t stand wearing the boots. It’s not failure in failing to keep them on, it’s failure if I fail to keep trying to put them on. One ride down in the new boots, many to go.

Thanks for coming along on this multi-faceted journey with me. I appreciate your support.

TA

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A Study of White and Blue

Howdy,

I was signing some paperwork this morning and realized that today is a fine “odometer moment” in that it’s 8-9-10. It’s not everyday that has such fine numeric sequencing and we won’t see another for about thirteen months or so. So here’s to a special day and finding something special it in!

I awoke early this am in Twillingate, Newfoundland and Labrador. We had to be up before the sunrise to make it back to St. John’s in time to put in a decent workday. I haven’t been up early too often these days (the joys on not being in training for anything specific, except life perhaps) and so reveled in the light of the dawning day. As we drove from island to island (thank goodness for causeways), the orangey-yellow glow spread quickly like soft butter. It flowed easily from the horizon to fill the quirks of every tickle and the crannies of every cloud. The day was indeed off to a beautiful start.

Marian and I spent the weekend visiting with friends at their latest project, Above the Tickle (http://bit.ly/9by5Eg). The gorgeous blue house awakened a deeply hibernating creativity within me. I was so glad to have brought my “big” camera by chance, which enabled having a venue to kindle this less frequently visiting friend. I turned instantly to the vibrant blue house that appeared almost to be dancing in the magical light of early evening. I’ve always been moved by shape and colour and texture when photographing and I indulged all in an album called “Above the Tickle” (http://bit.ly/92C4gi).

After a fine day of kayaking, I turned my attention to an old shed on my friends’ property, and began a series of photographs called “A Study in Blue and White” (http://bit.ly/ai2FuQ). Later my eye caught the local Mason’s building and my photographic study was complete.

Blue and white are colours I often see at altitude–some of the few. I often remark when returning from the heights, that I get my senses back. I notice scents on the wind, green plants, and a much more diverse colour palate. We often refer to seeing things in “black and white,” but this weekend I was seeing blue and white. As I drove this morning, I reflected about how colours can have so many meanings and moods: feeling blue and the stark clarity of white. About the infinite possibilities of a blue sky and the brilliant radiance of white snow. About the wisdom of white hair and the tradition of taking something blue to a wedding. About how the creeping of a deep dusky blue signals yet the end of another day and how the velvety white arms of a fog signify confusion. Blue and white. Indeed that’s how I am these days. Blue and white.

Take care and have a good week,

TA

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Look Where You Want to Go

Good Morning,

First, please accept my apologies for not posting last week. I’d led an expedition for my class and the weekend just got away from me (as did the week). We backpacked from Portugal Cove to Bauline on the East Coast Trail and I was humbled by the courage and tenacity that some of students showed in raising to the challenges of a difficult trail made more difficult by frequent wind fallen trees.

The trip was a wonderful reminder of how our experiences fall on a continuum from cakewalk to Everest depending on how we perceive them, our fitness and experience levels, and where the stars align. What is a cakewalk for me can be an Everest for another and vice versa and what is a cakewalk for me today, may be an Everest tomorrow. Jumbo Bug, a student (we all took trail names for the course) in the course, coined a new name for me while we were on the hike, she handed me the moniker, “Captain Steroids” indicating her perception that this was an easy hike for me compared to her experience of it.

I got brave yesterday and posted a query to Ride the Rock website; it is a forum about riding in Newfoundland for adventure motorcycle riders. I’m ready to start riding off-road and wanted recommendations on good rides to start with…Why was this a brave act you might ask? Well, because I am shy, and asking questions is often a steep challenge. And because they might actually answer and I’ll know where to go ride and I’ll have to face my fears of hurting myself or hurting my new bike. And because they might invite me to join their community of riders and it can be tough to be the “new guy on the block” and not know anything compared to them.

What was the alternative? Try to sort out things on my own…poke my nose down a few trails and see what happens, use up lots of time sorting through options, crash my bike miles from nowhere. Instead, by being a bit brave and taking what was a “social” risk for me, I now know three good rides for a newbie off-roader and I do have invites to go for rides with more experienced folks who actually have a clue how to change a motorcycle tire or what to do if you fall over while crossing water. I’ve read about these things in my bright, shiny new books but there is nothing like a good mentor and teacher to show the way. So, later today I’ll go ride one of their suggestions and when I’m ready, I’ll accept the invitation to a group ride.

As a shy human, I usually choose to get lots of information about the world through observation. I watch what’s on the go and can often figure out what I need to do this way. The Internet was a god’s gift to me…no more phones! Imagining asking someone for directions is like asking me to cross a ladder in the Khumbu backwards at night without a headlamp, with no side ropes. My buddy Karen on the other hand, is very skilled at asking such questions. We had a funny experience once, on a public bus, in a city that was unknown to both of us. We both figured out where to get off the bus but by very different means. Karen asked the driver, I watched street signs and the other passengers. Both worked. One method is often more efficient than the other but bottom line, both work much of the time.

When people come up to me and say, “I could never do what you do, I could never climb Everest,” I often reply that, “You can do many things I can’t do either.” Some of us face physical challenges, others of us emotional, while others social ones. Most often, our challenges are a combination of all of the above but I believe it is truly difficult to separate mind from body from spirit.

In reality, the road to any dream is littering with obstacles that we must surmount either by going over them, around them, under them, or getting help to build a bridge that crosses them. In motorcycling school, they teach us to “Always look where you want the motorcycle to go, never look at what you are trying to avoid.” I’ve been thinking about that lesson frequently of late and realizing that it holds true. If I look directly at an obstacle in my path, I tend to hit it square on. I get stuck by it. In it. Derailed by it. If on the other hand, I look to where I want to go, I see the obstacle as something to swerve around and miss. I look to the space where I can continue forward.

I suspect this is a two-wheeled version of the glass half-empty verses full gig. Looking around or ahead of the obstacle is positive thinking and keeps me moving. Looking at the obstacle, rather than how to solve the obstacle, often stalls me. As I look back at my climb on Everest, I can see how I looked squarely at the obstacles that arose for me on the mountain. I fell into many figurative crevasses that got in my way. Still digesting and hoping to be ready to share more on that soon.

Hoping for a big bike ride today after brunch with friends…have a good week.

TA

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Just Right

Good Evening,

Another rich and full week has come to a close and I’ve dropped into my chair to reflect on the many adventures, big and small, that the past seven days has delivered. As I’m “fist and eyes” into the summer semester at school, I’ve been ruminating about teaching and learning. One of the theories I teach is that we all seek to achieve “optimal arousal.” If something isn’t really engaging or involving us, then we get bored and lose interest. If something is pushing us too hard or over our comfort edge, then we get overwhelmed, anxious and want to stop. Ideally in learning and in life, we find that sweet spot where we are engaged to the max in the present situation without being over stimulated or falling over the edge.

I’m on a steep learning curve with the new motorcycle and I’ve been thoughtful about how much to ride, where to ride, what time of day to ride, what weather to ride in, and how fast to ride. Similarly with my students, many of whom are new to the outdoors, I wonder as their teacher, how far I can get them to hike? How high will they climb? Will they manage this amount of wind in their canoes? I watch their faces and body language for clues on how they and I are managing their learning. I’m hoping, that by offering the invitation to try new activities, they will find that same sweet spot of optimal arousal/learning that I seek while riding/climbing/training, etc.

It’s been interesting teaching the courses this summer because it’s the first time I’ve taught really resistant students who often declare, “I hate the outdoors.” I’ve had to be creative and thoughtful and sometimes clever in how I respond. I sometimes reply that I was sent specifically to torture them for the summer but I’ve appreciated how their resistance has me digging into the literature. I know I need to find some aspect of the experience that they can connect to so that can get beyond “surviving the experience.”

Many of the students hope to become recreation therapists so I often cite research that highlights the health benefits of being outside. When I read one of the student’s papers on Friday and they’d made a connection between their personal experience of being outside and the potential healing benefits for their future clients, I knew I had hit the educator slot machine jackpot of a student eureka!

Marian and I spent much of Saturday sea-kayaking in Cape Broyle with friends. The weather dished up a most delightful day of sun and light breezes. The ocean swell was the perfect level to make playing in shoreline rock gardens just exhilarating enough to get my heart pumping while managing to keep my boat upright and my head clear of rocks and such. A Minke whale graced us with its presence over lunch and after a luscious nap in the sun, I tried my hand at bagging some capelin has they swam close to shore. Capelin 10. TA 0.

It had been a hard week of hormone charged emotion mostly tilting to the disappointment and frustration end of the continuum and so I needed the day out. The salt air, playing like an sea otter amid the rocks in my boat, watching a bald eagle screeching above, and sticking myself under several waterfalls all combined to free my playful spirit and wash all of the hardness of the week away. Today, a great ride on the bike, finding some basil to round out our deck garden, and eating a partridge berry/apricot topped just picked salad rounded out the weekend just right. I am re-created, re-stored, and re-charged and ready to take on another big week.

Hope you are too,

TA

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Fence Boards and Paneer

Congrats to Spain, Condolences to the Netherlands,

Another seven days has quickly passed and I find myself stealing a few moments in my chair once again. I’m a bit tired from my biggest day of riding yet and I’m going to attempt to weave together some thoughts about work projects, summer camp, paneer and mountain climbing. My apologies in advance if I don’t quite get it all looking like a fine tartan.

Through Facebook of late, I’ve been reconnecting with many folks who I worked with and for at Farm and Wilderness (F&W) during the mid to late eighties and early nineties. I spent one of the most pivotal years of my life as a crew member there in 1983 between high school and university. I volunteered my labour in exchange for learning gardening, farming, and carpentry skills. I went for a semester and stayed a year and then went back for the next seven summers after that. The place and the people there transformed me and nurtured my growth much like Marian and I tend the small container garden on our deck…with love, care, and attention.

I haven’t been back there in some time now but yesterday I was once again appreciating all of the skills and confidence I learned at Indian Brook, the specific F&W camp I worked for. Marian and I were transforming the remnants of friends’ new fence construction project into a deck-like/pallet sort of covering for the desperately black and coal filled black soil beneath our kitchen deck. In a masterpiece of jigsaw fitting and spatial problem-solving, we slowly found pieces that would fit together. We could have sawed them all to a uniform length and goodness knows, I was eager to saw (I love power tools almost as much as my new motorcycle), but it was more fun to see how to get the job done with the least number of cuts possible.

My dad was the first to teach me to use a circular saw and other power tools. Farm and Wilderness polished those skills to a rich sharpness and I then passed those skills on to the girls I taught there. What came to me went round to others and so on. Just like the fence boards. And the whey from the paneer.

Missing Nepal, I wanted to make some paneer (a simple cheese that features in both Nepali and Indian cooking). I’d first learned to make it on crew at F&W but consulted Google for a quick reminder on technique. I heated the milk, dropped in the lemon juice, and voila…curds and whey. I won’t mention here that when my mom was angry with me as a child she often said, “Watch yourself, Little Miss Muffet.”

So there I was yesterday eating a few curds before pressing them into a hard block to become paneer, and wondering what I should do with the whey. I knew a few things you can do (make bread, make soup stock, water the plants) but I once again consulted the fountain of all current knowledge and learned you could make lemonade out of it as well. So I did…with fresh lemons and a few fresh sprigs of mint from the garden…mint lemonade that tastes a bit like drinking lemon meringue pie (just like we had at Mike’s Breakfast in Kathmandu). Again, nothing got wasted…and the whey got made into something else. Just like the fence boards.

How does it all fit together? Cheese, I first made in Vermont, enjoyed in Nepal, and made myself here in St. John’s, brings to my awareness that I am always grateful to those who have gone before me having both taught and inspired me. That I am most deeply connect to those whom I share experiences with–and those experiences can range from mucking out the cow stales to pulling tires to building a deck to paddling a kayak to presenting together at a conference.

I know I would never have attempted to climb Mount Everest or many other mountains, if I hadn’t been nurtured and mentored away from dancing on cliff edges without being tied in…not because I might fall but because it scared those around me…F&W allowed me to space and opportunity to develop as a person, an outdoor educator, and a risk manager. I wish for all children and young adults (heck all people) to have such a place/space in their lives where they are honoured for who they are, supported in growing beyond the boundaries of their gardens, and transformed like the fence boards.

Have a good week,

TA

PS: http://www.farmandwilderness.org/

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Motorcycle Satori

Happy Fireworks Day,

It was a busy week fitting back into the routine of teaching and trying to get out on my bike as much as possible. I’m teaching two courses this summer: one in park management and one in outdoor skills. The students are mostly the same in both so we can draw a number of parallels between the material and skills covered. Tuesday, we spent a wet day hiking from Shea Heights to Black Head. It was great to be out but the windy rainy conditions made it challenging to stop and have class along the way. The hike felt good; I think I have been missing movement.

I like to turn myself into a student at regular intervals. This gives me the opportunity to experience the vast emotions that learning invokes and helps me emphasize with my students. My new motorcycle is being a diligent teacher. On one occasion, I was trying to start it. I pulled out the choke as instructed by the owner’s manual and pushed the starter button. It cranked and cranked but would start. The same manual said not to crank too long. So I tried several short bursts to no avail. I pushed the choke in and out. I cranked. Then suddenly it hit me, I had not turned on the gas cock. It’s hard to start an engine with no gas supply. Then, my next thought was, “You didn’t do your pre-ride inspection.” The inspection includes a step of turning on the gas cock. Just like pilots, motorcycle riders employ a pre-ride check to insure the motorcycle is safe to go.

Recent research shows that checklists help prevent incidents and complications in surgery. I’ve always used a four-step check with my belayer before I begin every rock climb. I touch and inspect my harness buckle (to make sure it is double-backed), I hold my knot out (to show that it is property tied and tied into the correct spot), I touch my head (knocking on my helmet so I don’t forget to have it on), and I exchange commands (so my belayer is willing to take responsibility for my safety). One of the world’s best rockclimbers took a nasty fall when she didn’t have her buckle double-backed after a bathroom break. When one is regularly exposed to risky situations, it’s easy to become accustomed to that risk and let one’s guard down.

I jumped off the bike and did my inspection routine and then pushed the starter button again, the bike roared to life.

Lesson Number One:
Don’t forget to perform your preflight/ride checklist (in all activities that require them).

My new ride sips gasoline as they say. It gets somewhere in the market of 68-75 miles per gallon. Thus being so, I haven’t had to fill up very often. Yesterday I filled up. Locking gas cap came off pretty easy, gas went in, tank filled. Then it was time to get the gas cap back on. It wouldn’t go. I tried turning the key to release the little grabber thingies on the side. No luck. I tried turning it sideways. No go. I start again. Try again. Cars come and go beside me. I feel like an idiot-how hard can it be to get a gas cap on. I look around to see who might be watching. I take my helmet off as it’s getting quite warm standing there. I try again. Ah ha! I’ve been trying to put it on with the front pointing back and the back pointing front. Turn it round and it slips right on. Bingo. Another lesson learned…

Lesson Number Two:
Relax. There are many mechanical things to learn. Nothing to be embarrassed about-just work through them and ask for help if necessary.

One of the things I love most about riding a motorcycle is all the smells that come my way: sweet scents of blossoms bursting out, the pungent rot of a freshly manured field, the delicate hint of rain on the wind. I am in the environment I am travelling through most more so than when sheltered by steel and glass. I find it very meditative and revel in the present mindedness it requires. Though I notice a tendency to daydream in the same way I do when I paddle, hike, or cut grass. I regularly bring myself back to mirror checks, lane checks, speed checks, and keeping an eye on the road ahead. I find after an hour of riding I am exhausted mentally and it’s time to stop.

Without the cocoon of steel and glass and airbags, every moment on the bike is critical. Any mistake can be fatal. I am reminded of sea kayaking in Newfoundland with our very cold-water temps (only one-two degrees above freezing). I usually make paddling decisions based on the rubric of “If you tip, you die.” I recognize the thin edge on which I am playing. I think riding a motorcycle is the same way and I need to stay vigilant, well equipped, and present at all times.

Lesson Number Three:
Stay present. Very present.

All three of these lessons are as critical to mountaineering as they are to motorcycling. When I next set out on a mountain, I will take lessons from the moto with me!

Still waiting for the perfect name for the bike to come to me–I named my new computer, Satori, which means sudden awakening/sudden enlightenment. Here’s to Satori for all of us.

TA

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Settling Back In

Happy Father’s Day,

Today will be a day I miss my dad more than most. Yesterday hundreds of motorcycles rode down Duckworth Street in the “Ride for Dad”, a prostate cancer fundraiser and tears rolled down my cheeks as the bikes rolled down the road. I’ve spent much of the past two weeks trying to find a motorcycle to buy to make my dad’s legacy of riding a reality here for me. I’ve had my eyes on a particular bike that’s very hard to come by if you don’t order if nine months out. With Everest, I didn’t manage to pull that off. So I’m wondering if I should go with another bike for now to not lose another season of riding.

You see, one of my major ways of coping with “coming down” from a major expedition is to surf…almost excessively…looking for the next adventure. So since getting home almost two weeks ago, my attention has been evenly split between motorcycles and mountains and a wee bit of unpacking. Oh yeah, and lots of stories and presentations…

A highlight of being home is beginning to tell the stories of the mountain: to family, to friends, and to large groups of folks…by far, though, the biggest joy has been taking Flat Stanley back to his school, C.C. Loughlin on Thursday past. Thanks to a generous donation of an airline ticket, I was able to fly to Deer Lake and return Flat Stanley to Patricia Edward’s Grade Three class. From the moment I walked into the school, I was greeted enthusiastically with wild cheers. At a school assembly, I presented pictures of Flat Stanley’s adventures on Everest and then took questions from the floor. The Grade Threes had practiced hard so they could sing me two songs that just about had me in tears. The media dropped by and here’s a link to one of the stories:

http://www.thewesternstar.com/index.cfm?sid=343978&sc=23

Patricia took me out for lunch and I was thrilled to hear of all the cross-curricular activities she was able to do with her class related to the climb: math, science, physical education, geography, social studies, and more. In her introduction of me to the school, she said she would never have another amazing teaching year like this one (I told her I would happily take Flat Stanley again so hopefully we can have another amazing year together). I was very touched and moved by what she said and in that moment, I could once again see that when I am climbing, I’m reaching my goal of having an expedition be much “More than a Mountain.” It helps with the current disappointment and paves the way to set even bigger goals around youth and school outreach/engagement.
It also gives me a chance to see “the ripples in the pond.”

I believe with our lives (with our kindness, our compassion, our bravery, our adventures), we “drop pebbles in the pond” and we don’t often get to see the ripples the pebbles create. On rare occasions, the ripples refract back to us and we get the privilege of seeing the impact of our lives on others. Since Denali, it’s been my intention to reach out to others with my climbs and this week, I got to see the small waves come back to me. I trust that those waves will cause other ripples that will lead to even bigger waves one day; those kids have some big dreams and goals to nurture.

Along with unpacking the four big duffels of gear, I’ve been unpacking the stories of the expedition, both in my mind and as I tell them. What I realized this expedition, is that the same story can be told many ways. I saw this as my teammates descended and the picture we had in our mind at basecamp was different that the one they told. I can see that the stories/perceptions I had in my mind at high elevation look different at sea level. And of course, I’m left to wonder if the outcome would have been different with different choices…hindsight always has the blessing of looking back, the wisdom of knowing at least one outcome. I haven’t been “second guessing” my decision so much as playing around with/reflecting on lessons that I will use next time.

For example, I wonder how things would have gone if I had descended to Pheriche with the first bladder infection instead of the second. We’ll never know but you can be sure I will descend next time at the very first sighting of bacteria. I’ll also bring more treatment options. In 2007, I was felled first by a respiratory infection and then Giardia…this trip I was lucky to suffer neither a cough nor any GI distress (probably because I focused on preventing them). I’ll attempt to prevent all three next time and hopefully ward off all the other maladies as well. The truth is it’s hard to stay healthy when living at 5300 metres and above; you can do everything “right” and still get sick.

So, a small glimpse into how my mind is working with things at the moment…reflecting, planning, dissecting, wondering, wandering…all in a gentle kind of way. Not blaming or attacking…more with a curiosity for learning…and a penchant for wondering where the story will land in the end.

OK…the veggies for the deck container garden are calling as is more web surfing for bikes and for the next mountain…stay tuned for what’s coming next. Many thanks to all of you for your support when I was on the mountain and now as I am settling back into “regular” life.

TA

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Everest 2010: Good Bye Kathamndu

Hi this is TA calling in from the rooftop of the hotel Horizon here in Kathmandu; we are trying to get all our bags in one spot, so we can get them packed up and pray that they are not over weight for our flight tomorrow. So this is my last post from Kathmandu, and my last post from the field for this Everest expedition. Of course once I hit home I will try to filter through the last couple of months and post some pictures and all that kind of stuff. Over the last few days I have been enjoying conversations and spending time with my teammates, the last of whom have gone home today. Marian and I where in the last third of the team to arrive and we are the last two women standing as we will be the last out as well. So it has been a good time here in Kathmandu we hung out with Nadia, Leslie, and Dan when they got back in here to Kathmandu, we have been enjoying the sights, sounds, smells, and just in general the overwhelm of Kathmandu. I can’t believe that it has been almost 2 ½ months since I arrived here on the 28th of March, but now I can’t wait to get home. I want to go through all the pictures and relive the moments of the expedition and gleam the various moments of learning that I have gotten from this trip. So again big thank you to all of you who have followed along, to Earl for doing all of that transcription, Earl Walker my communications king for this expedition and managing the home front as well, you wouldn’t be able to follow me without him, so thanks again Earl. Thanks to all of my sponsors who helped me get to the mountain; to Applecore Interactive, RJG Construction, the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit Union, the School Sports Association, the egg Producers of Newfoundland and Labrador. Thanks to all the practitioners and Amy Butt at Allied Health Services for their sponsorship and their assistance and help during all of the training. And to all of my colleges at the School of Human Kinetics and Recreation at Memorial University of Newfoundland, for picking up the slack that I leave behind while I am on this mountain and other mountains. To all of my friends and family who gather around me and help me live these big dreams and big goals. Sometimes we get to the summit and sometimes we don’t, I read a quote in this Buddhist temple today that had 1000 images of Buddha in it, about how you need to suck every minute out of this existence, I’m paraphrasing of course. But it has been a great privilege to be here, it’s been incredibility humbling to be here in Nepal, but I am still glad to be going home safe and sound with all my fingers and toes intact. I now am going to concentrate on rebuilding my strength and figuring out which mountain or adventure will come next. So thanks for coming along with me and I will catch you from the other side of the pond back in North America, thanks so much take care.

TA

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Everest 2010: Heading Home

May 19 – Goodbye EBC…For Now
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp for the last time on this expedition. We welcomed home our summiteers from all points higher than this, and hearing their stories, and seeing their pictures, and we are feeding them all kinds of new and interesting foods. Not necessarily new to the expedition but new to them as they have not seen some of these foods in awhile, we are trying to get them all plumped up. A bunch of us are going to head down valley tomorrow, we are concerned about the crush in Lukla with the on coming of the monsoon and the down coming of all these expeditions over the next while. So a bunch of folks, just like us, have been packing bags and trying to figure out what we need for our trek out to Kathmandu, and what will be packed in our bags and go down on Zopkios. So it has been an exciting day here, congratulations again to our summiteers that we have welcomed back Hugo, Carina, Peter, Ming-mar, and Phur-ba is believe is the name of the other Sherpa. And lots of good wishes and good luck, and wishes to return safely to our team 2 who will be beginning their second summit push tomorrow as they head up to camp 3. That’s the scoop here, hope you are all having a great day. Thanks again to all of you for staying with me for these two months, I will continue to blog as we head back down and I will keep you posted on how things are going. Take good care, catch you tomorrow

May 20 – Trekking Out
Hi this is TA calling in from Pheriche at about 4200m. It was a good day of walking down here; I walked down with Marian and Nadia, and we were followed down by the other five. We have or 3 summiteers here in Pheriche, two are flying out by helicopter in the morning, lucky them, the rest of us are heading on down to Namche. I am really noticing how tired I am after 55 day here at altitude. I am enjoying how much warmer it is here then the last time I was down. I am looking across at the big steep hill I climbed last time, to check out how my body was doing and realizing that maybe I shouldn’t have trekked down to Lobouche for that little two day jaunt before going on a summit push. I’m wishing I had had a chance to come and recover at even lower altitudes before going back up for that push, but you know hindsight is 20/20, and this expedition is called “Mountain of Learning” for a reason, to take all those learning’s, both internal and external and take them forward from here. I heard 3 members from my team have moved up to camp 3 today, maybe the others are following. But I am now going to be tracking them like you are on the internet, since I won’t be there to hear the radio calls, but I continue to send good, positive energy their way. We will be having another good feed tonight to hopefully power the legs all the way to Namche tomorrow. Thanks for following along, and special thanks to all of my sponsors who made it possible for me to be here on day 55 of this expedition, thanks and have a great day.

May 21 – Empty Legs
Hi this is Marian and TA calling in from Namche Bazaar at about 3400m. I am sitting in my little audio blog spot above the Zamling Lodge overlooking Namche. We had a big walk today coming down from Pherische through Pangbouche and Debouche where we stopped in at the nunnery to light some butter lamps for our teammates who are still up hill. The nuns were chanting, so we had an opportunity to join them in the meditation room and listen, I found that to be very soothing. During the ceremony they lit butter lamps, which I knew in my mind where for my teammates, some of whom are at camp 3 tonight and some at camp 4. After Debouche we climbed the hill to Tengboche where we were lucky enough to have sour dough bread which was very exciting, because she who has an empty leg is always hungry, so it was lovely to have something new and exciting. After Tenboche we dropped down to Fuketanga to the Dudh Kosi, which we will drop down to again when we leave Namche, the milk river. Its milky because of all the glacial silt that flows along in the river. From there we walked back up here to Namche, I thought the piece just outside of Fuketanga was going to get the best of me, that’s when I knew that I was still working with a very tired body. It was humbling, but I found a rhythm and got back up here to Namche. I delved a little bit into the internet, thanks for all your well wishes, I didn’t get a chance to take in a lot of them at 10 rupees a minute but I did grab a few of them. I will slowly make my way back into the cyber world once I hit Kathmandu, and begin to immerse myself back into my regular life after 60 days of pretty simple living at base camp. So it was a good day, a long day, had a delicious dinner here at the Zamling Lodge. We are not sure if we will have a rest day here or split our trek to Lukla into two parts, but we are still hoping to fly out of Lukla on the 24th. I am still wondering how my teammates are doing you along, Martin, Peter and Bob are also here and we are all wondering about the cyclone that is hitting India, what will its path be, and what destruction it might cause both on its path and here on the mountain. Its wonderfully warm here and the air is wonderfully thick, but it is still amazing how going up hill in the Himalayas can be pretty humbling. So take good care, I also wanted to warn those of you who have been used to checking out the audio blog everyday, that once I hit Kathmandu I will probably go back to a weekly format. So I just wanted to give you a little warning that your daily routine might change. Thanks for being there, happy Friday, TGIF to all you out there in North America, catch you from tomorrow, bye.

TA

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Everest 2010: Week Six

This week TAs pesky urinary tract infection forced her to seek refuge at lower elevation in the village of Pheriche. But now, feeling better TA is back at base camp and is preparing to head back into the ice fall. As always these updates are being brought to you by Applecore Interactive, RJG Construction, the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit union, School Sport Newfoundland and Labrador, and the Egg Producers of Newfoundland and Labrador all proud sponsors of TA’s Everest 2010 expedition. Enjoy!

April 28 – Seeds of Possibility
Hi this is TA calling in from the village of Pheriche again. A wonderfully deluxe, rest, and relaxation day, a little stroll through town, did some email. Its so wonderful to read all of the encouragement posted on the various places my blog gets published, so thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I had a delicious amazing shower, good food, and a big nap this afternoon. So it feels as if the universe is sowing the seeds of possibility in me once again. I spent some time watching yaks, finished a book about a women who is a Buddhist, who recovered from a bus accident, so that provided some inspiration. I was just sitting with two women climbers from the IMG team, so that is interesting to get to share experiences, and trials, and tribulations. So a very good day here in Pheriche, feeling a little strength coming back into my bones and muscles. Thanks again for following along, for being there for me, sending encouragement, it has been great to get an outside perspective, outside of base camp, outside of me, so I’m having a good day. Thanks so much, talk to you tomorrow, bye

April 29 – Intermediary Goals
Hi this is TA calling in from the village of Pheriche. Pretty good day here, I decided to spend some of the day going on a walk about, I hiked down to the temporary bridge, which has been temporary for about a year and a half since the other one washed away. I then climbed up the very steep hill on the far side of the river to over look Pheriche and Island Peak, and eventually got a look up over memorial Hill into Louboche and all the way to Kala Patter. So I figure I gained some where in the vicinity of 800 or 900m, very, very nice and slowly, not pushing myself too hard and I defiantly felt a little more life in my quads then the last time I tried to go uphill a couple of days ago. So I think I’m on the mend, we will see what the energy is like tomorrow to decided if I will start heading back to base camp tomorrow or the next day, but I will play it by ear. I finished my antibiotics today and I’m hoping that the strength continues to come. As I climbed the big hill I was reminded of the importance of intermediary goals. I often say if you look at the whole mountain its overwhelming, or if you try to eat the whole elephant in one bit you cant do it, but you can if you take it step by step. There where times today when I would see a rock cairn on the horizon and would make the commitment to walking there. Some times it was about walking 50 steps at a time and then resting, and then 50 more steps and then resting, but eventually after about 2 hours I was able to get all that elevation gain in. Intermediary goals, I’m not looking at the whole mountain at this point, I’m just thinking about getting well enough to head back up to base camp. Once I’m at base camp I will just be looking for the circumstances and conditions to allow me to get through the ice fall as the next step, and I will take it from there. I’m keeping and eye on the intermediary goals, and the big goal at the end, but step by step is where it is at for me today. Thanks again for all of your support, I love reading all the emails since I have been here in Pheriche. Very good luck to my friends Leslie and Dan who are leaving in 2 days to fly to Nepal to try to get up to Everest base camp, so I’m very eager to see them. I hope it all works out so that I do get to see them, either I’m up to the mountain or down from the mountain, or wherever I might end up being. Thanks again to RJG Construction, and Applecore Interactive for their sponsorship of these updates, they let you follow along we me, and I appreciate having you all along. Take care; catch you from tomorrow, bye

April 30 – 1,2,3,4
Hi this is TA calling in from Lobouche at 4910m. I had forgotten to mention last week that I had reached a milestone, as you probably know Signal Hill is the centre of my training activities and that 60 Signal Hills equals Everest elevation 8848m. So last week given the disappointment of 2 bladder infections I failed to celebrate with you that I have gained the equivalent of 60 Signal Hills since beginning the trekking on March 27th. Thanks to the past few days the total is now 71 Signal Hills, I’m hoping all of you “Step up to the Summit Challenge” folks are making good progress towards your own physical activity summits. Remember day by day, step by step gets you there, couple hours here, a half hour there, get out there get those steps in, get them recorded and climb the mountain with me. My watch alarm went off today at 1,2,3,4 or 12:34 as it does everyday, I said Hi dad as I always do and promptly burst into tears. As I grieved the loss of my physical strength these last weeks due to infections, my grief for my dad has risen sharply like the jagged peaks that surround me. In their sharp brilliance the intense pain thunders onto my shoulders like seracs falling from Nuptese. I wonder if I will be buried alive, but then the spin drift passes over and I can breath again, acknowledge my lose and go on. The other day I admitted to myself the extra weight of grief that I’m carrying in my backpack. I miss my dad. I worry about how my family is dealing with their grief. I feel close to him sometimes and other times I wish he could say just exactly what I needed to hear, “leave her to it, she can do it.” So Flat Stanley and I are in Lobouche for the night, I decided to break the walk back to base camp into two smaller chunks to allow for some rest and arrive at base camp in good form. I’m moving decently well, and am looking forward to seeing the team tomorrow. I’ve been racking my brain about how to get a rotation in while the team is resting from their last rotation, but haven’t sorted out all the logistics. Perhaps a few nights at Pumori camp 2 might work. I will chat with Tim as soon as I get back to base camp about the possibilities. Thanks again for all of your support, get out there get active, I’ll check in again tomorrow, thanks so much, bye.

May 1 – Game 4
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp, I got here just before noon after about 3 hours and 45 minutes of walking. It was good timing because I saw the rest of the team that is heading down to Pheriche to rest, so I got to say goodbye to them, the other half of the team is staying here. I did ok on the walk, I was about ½ hour faster then when I came in here the first time, but we will see if my body has really recovered when I start doing something steep. Speaking of which Tim does have a plan for me, so that was great to hear. I will probably try to head up through the ice fall the day after next, but I will learn more about that tomorrow, he enlighten me a bit today but in my post walk haze I didn’t quite catch it all. As I was walking today I was thinking back in Canada its probably playoff hockey time and I was thinking that I am in some ways in a best of 7 series. I don’t usually like to set myself up in competition with the mountain but that was the analogy or metaphor, sorry to all my English teachers at the moment, I cant remember which it is. But here we are in the playoffs, best of 7 series, and I feel like I’m down 3 games to none and I’m in the other teams home building for the forth game. But what can I say there is always hope, I think there has been some teams that has come back from being 3 down, I’m looking for some coaches speeches, what would you say to your team if you were down 3 – 0, one game away from elimination and needing 4 really good games in a row to make it happen. So that’s my analogy, I’m not sure if its helpful or not, but it gave me a good chuckle as I walked along today. Its great to be back here where water doesn’t cost anything to drink and the popcorn is free. I’m listening to all the stories from up along, its great to have folks to share tea and meals with. That’s the scoop from today, I’m back at base camp, and I’m trying to gear up for game 4 of a seven game series, take care, and again thanks to all my sponsor for helping me be here.

Thanks so much.
TA

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Everest 2010: Week Five

Resting 4/27/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from the village of Pheriche at 4220m, and look I can talk in full sentences down here in the thick air. Mango and I walked down in about 5 hours today and are now happily ensconced in the Himalayan Hotel which is where I spent most of my time in Pheriche, the lodge owner remembered me. I am going to move into the tea house proper tomorrow, right now we are staying next door but eating here tonight. It was good to actually move a bit, I have a built in inclinometer I slowed down as soon as we started to climb uphill, but going downhill wasn’t too bad. It was good to move, to get out of base camp because I had been there for quite a while. I met Tim Warren today, who was on my 2007 expedition and got sick like I did, then he summated in 2008, so he gave me a great pep talk on the way into Lobouche. Probably some rest tomorrow, and then we will see about getting some movement and some strength back, and then we will go from there. I wanted to say a big hello to Madam Edwards grade 3 class in Corner BrookNewfoundland, at CC Loughlin school, Flat Stanley is here with me in Pheriche and he is excited to see a new village. Thanks to all my sponsors for their support. Between the ice fall excursion and walking down here I did about 7 hours of walking so that is a whole lot of steps, so I hope you are all out stepping up to the summit challenge and climbing this peak with me. Thanks a lot take care.

TA

Team Bactrim 4/26/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp. Another tough day emotionally, wondering how tomorrow is going to go. There are three of us who are going to attempt the ice fall tomorrow. We are calling ourselves “Team Bactrim” because we are all on the same antibiotics. I packed my pack so that it is significantly lighter then two days ago so hopefully that will help. I’m drinking lots, and forcing myself to eat; I seem to be on that cusp of where nothing tastes good. I’m thinking some movement might help; I actually haven’t had much exercise since arriving at base camp. So I’m hoping I will get some activity tomorrow and get a new view, because the view from here is getting a little tough to get my head around. I’m hoping there is more strength in me then I know at the moment, but we will see tomorrow morning. I think we are gong to head out around 4 and again I will give a shout when we get through the ice fall so people can stop worrying. Another of my teammates decided to call it quits today and head down, and a couple more made it down from the mountain they have already had one night sleeping at camp 3, so they are down enjoying the thick air here at base camp. Our other teammates are all up at camp 2 probably making a foray to camp 3 tomorrow. That’s the scoop from here, thanks for all the good thoughts you are sending my way they are very much appreciated. Catch you from tomorrow, bye.

TA

KD at BC 4/25/2010
Hi this is TA calling in again from Everest base camp with my usual daily update. If you heard/read the earlier update you know the morning was a little tough. Moral was a little low around here, so I knew it was time to reach into the tickle trunk of treats and pull out the KD, the Kraft Dinner. The meal that I packed that I knew I could eat at any point, so the cook done a wonderful job of cooking up two boxes of macaroni and cheese, and we are looking forward to having the leftovers for dinner. Treated myself to “Finding Nemo” for part of the afternoon, and was looking over the Buddhist slogans that my mentor sent and the one for today has to do with a practice that is prefect for today so I will continue to do that practice. I continue to hope that the antibiotics do their work again and I’m looking at all the ways I could have been re-infected and trying to eliminate those. I got a teammate who is coming up from the thicker air today; he is going to rest tomorrow and then try to head up on the 27th. So right now my plan is to make another attempt on the ice fall on the 27th, so we will see how that goes. Reminding myself that often the true measure is not when things are going well but when things are going tough. Things had just gone so well for the first 2 ½ weeks I guess things where bound to catch up with me, but I’m doing my best to stay with the pathful and continue to look for options. Hope all is well with your Sunday, hope your weekend was great, and thanks for thinking of me. Catch you from tomorrow, bye.

TA

Finding Footsteps 4/25/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp. I gave the ice fall a good go this morning, I found I had no energy leaving camp, but decided to see if I could find some. So I kept pushing upward, finding footsteps from deep within, after about 2 ½ hours Angel came by, he was the tail, and it was time to make a decision. I realized that at the pace I was able to move it would be an 8 or 9 hour ice fall experience, which given the dangers and realities of this years ice fall just doesn’t make sense. So I turned myself around and headed back to base camp. I knew I didn’t have much energy when Ming-mar came out and I let him carry my pack back. So it was a tough morning, I paid a visit to the clinic, and it turns out when they tested my urine there is puss back in there again. Luanne doesn’t think it is the same infection but rather just a recurrent infection so we are trying Bactrim this time and hopefully we can get this little bug taken care of. I have a team member coming back up from below today and then taking a rest day so we may try again on the 27th and see if we can’t get a little higher. I just wanted to let you all know that I’m safely through the ice fall just not in the direction I had intended, but life goes on and it is good to be safe. Going to start taking the antibiotics, drinking a ton and hopefully flushing this thing through, I will do an update a little later in the day.

Take care, bye.

TA

Sense of Quiet 4/24/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp, it’s the 24th of April which is my monthly birthday, as many of you know I like celebrating my birthday every month. It’s been another day of quiet preparation and reading, there’s a definite sense of quiet about the group, and about me in preparation for tomorrow’s trip through the ice fall. We are going to leave somewhere between 2:30 and 4 in the morning to make our way. I will do an update once I’m through the ice fall, so prayers and thoughts are very much appreciated. We got our “top out” masks today, so that was very cool, we will take them up on the next round. It will be good to get moving, work out some of the nerves, and get up into the Western Cwm, so I’m looking forward to that. Thanks to everyone for following along and remember to step up to the summit challenge and get out there and get active.

Thanks so much, bye

TA

Books, Essential Climbing Gear 4/23/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp, wrapped snuggly in my sleeping bag for that part of the afternoon when the temperature drops and its time to read books. I’m halfway through my 7th book of the expedition, lots of down time while we are waiting to go up high again. I finished my antibiotics today and just took it a little easy, I was feeling a little low on energy so I thought I would just read and enjoy the company of my teammates. The day began with a little sadness as one of our teammates had to call an end to his expedition because of a health concern, so that was a hard way to begin our day. Folks have been reading, writing, carving, watching movies every evening, and waiting until we can go up through the ice fall again on Saturday. Quite day, not much to report, hope all is going well with you. Thanks to the folks at the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit Union, and School Sport Newfoundland and Labrador, for their support of me here. Hope you all are having a great day, talk to you from tomorrow.

TA

Don’t forget you can help support TA by donating to the Everest 2010 Mountain of Learning Award at MemorialUniversity. To donate go to: https://www5.mun.ca/dir/viking.gv020.p001
and be sure type Everest 2010 Mountain of Learning Award in the box

Thanks so much for your support!

Mushrooming 4/22/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from atop a rock in the middle of base camp, I am perched where I can see most of everything in base camp, and Hugo is just walking by. What I’m noticing is colorful dollops of tents, and on all of the tents you can start to see what we call “mushrooming”. This is when the water begins to run around the elevated platforms of our tents, while the main part is protected, so our tents appear to be growing when in reality is the little gullies around them are dropping. Just did a little maintenance in my vestibule, covered up some ice along the sides, to try to fully protect my tent flatness, and solve the issue I was having with my mattress and some wetness. So it was another rest day here at base camp, I will probably try to go out and gain some elevation tomorrow. It looks like we will be heading up for a 5 or 6 or 7 day acclimatization round on the 25th, and that could be the last acclimatization round before summit pushes. We will just have to see how the route, and weather, health, and acclimatization all develop. But right now that’s the plan, to go up and spend a few nights at camp 1, a few nights at camp 2, and hopefully even a night at camp 3 on that next push. Feeling pretty good today, I wandered into camp fairly slowly after yesterday, that’s why I decided to take another rest day today, and I will go out walking again tomorrow. Some of my teammates have gone to Gorak Shep for some email, some folks are having a little R&R, I had a wonderful little base camp shower again today. So its just pretty mellow times here in base camp. Again I wanted to say thanks to the folks at Applecore Interactive, for all of their support, for teaching me about all this stuff, and for maintaining my website, thanks to you for following along, and remember to step up to the summit challenge.

Catch you from tomorrow, have a great day.

TA

Remember as TA heads up Mount Everest you too can be involved by taking part in Recreation Newfoundland & Labrador’s “Step Up to the Summit Challenge.” The challenge begins March 18th and continues through May 31st. RNL’s Small Steps, Big Results website allows individuals and teams to track a wide variety of physical activity by converting all to a number of steps. Sign up your team for the challenge today at http://www.recreationnl.com/smallstepsbigresults.

On the Mend 4/21/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from about 5700m on the flanks of Pumori, what a difference 48 hours makes. I got up here decently well, took it nice slow and easy, so I could just wander up. Got to Pumori camp one and actually a little higher, from where I am right now the view is amazing, I’m looking across to the triad of Everest and Lhotse and Nuptse. I can see the ice fall in its entirety; I can see up the western cwm a bit, and the Lhotse face in its entirety. And wow! That’s all I can say is wow, its amazingly intimidating when you look at it and how really big it is. I can also look down valley and see Gorakshep, Kala Patter, I can see where Lobouche is, and can actually see all the way down to the memorial hill, lovely view of Ama Dablam. The clouds are beginning to roll in, I’m going to hang out here for an hour or so for some extra acclimatization and then head back to camp. I’m very excited that my body let me come up here today, and we will see what happens from there. Some clouds over the summit of Everest but actually looking pretty calm up there, a half moon. I met some climbers and a Sherpa from IMG, talked about all the folks we know in common and the Sherpa was very kind and shared his Mars bar with me, so thanks to him. Hope your Wednesday is going well, I’m feeling pretty good today and I’m excited to be up above looking down at base camp and all the amazing Himalayan peaks that are in my view. Thanks to RJG Construction for their support of the expedition, I seen a lot of the Sherpas wearing the t-shirts as they make their rounds carrying stuff through the ice fall. Remember to get out and get active, step up to the summit challenge, get those steps in and climb this mountain with me.

Take care, catch you later

TA

Full House 4/20/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp, tucked into my tent, during our little afternoon snowstorm. We have been having a weather pattern of sunny mornings and then snow showers in the afternoons as the temperature drops. I’m feeling pretty good today, I decided to just take another rest day, but I didn’t want to leave camp anyway because I wanted to be on the welcoming committee for our team members as they came down from camp one. It was great to see them come down and welcome them home, and listen to the stories of the last few days. So it was an enjoyable morning, I cant believe its afternoon here again, days at base camp seem to be going quicker now that the expedition is moving along. We have been talking a lot about how unseasonably warm it is here this year, Tim say we should actually be freezing every night in our sleeping bags needing hot water bottles etc, but it is almost a month warmer then it usually is. The ice fall is making everyone very nervous because it is already so much warmer then it usually is, there have actually been climbers who took one look and went home, and some close calls for other climbers. There is some talk about the possibility of reaching the summit earlier this year because of the unseasonable warmth, and because there seems to be relatively little wind up high at the moment, which is again unusual. So who knows what the 2010 season will bring in terms of all of that. Its great to be a full house here again today, hopefully the healing continues and I continue to get stronger, that’s sort of what its feeling like at the moment, and its great to be surrounded by teammates once again. Have a great Tuesday, and again a special hello to all the folks at the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit Union, and thanks to them for their sponsorship and helping me be here doing this.

Talk to you tomorrow, bye

TA

Remember as TA heads up Mount Everest you too can be involved by taking part in Recreation Newfoundland & Labrador’s “Step Up to the Summit Challenge.” The challenge begins March 18th and continues through May 31st. RNL’s Small Steps, Big Results website allows individuals and teams to track a wide variety of physical activity by converting all to a number of steps. Sign up your team for the challenge today at http://www.recreationnl.com/smallstepsbigresults.

Time, Patience, Antibiotics, and Rest 4/19/2010
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp. I awoke feeling pretty good after a decent night sleep; our camp was dusted at about 6am by spin drift from a massive serac fall off Nuptse. I had hoped I healed enough to get up out of base camp and gain some elevation on the flanks of Pumori. I packed by backpack with supplies and headed out with the goal of gentle walking, and elevation goal, and a caution to myself to take it very easy. As I pasted by the various camps on the way out of Everest base camp it instantly became clear that I was still fighting the infection and was profoundly weakened. I tried to walk slow enough to keep both my pulse and breathing down, after an hour of painfully slow walking, painful only in comparison to how strongly I walked just days ago, I reached the junction of the EBC Everest base camp trail and the Pumori cairns. I headed up but as the slope steepened I was forced to stop every few steps to catch my breath. I slowed further and I realized after about 20 minutes that it was unwise to continue and I found a rock in the sun to curl up onto. Here I was awash in emotion, fear, disappointment, grief, anger, disbelief, how could I have gone from such strength and confidence just five days ago in the ice fall to humbled by a slight incline. Bacteria, I reminded myself, that I have only been on the antibiotics for 1.5 days and perhaps I was asking to much of myself. I thought of my dad and how hard it must have been for him to lose strength and ability over the course of his illness. I allowed the emotion to spill over into tears and reminded myself that altitude magnifies everything, everything and every emotion is bigger up here. Spent, I turned for home and wondered down a slightly different path and when I reached the ridge I looked left and spotted Michaels Inukshuk, a few rocks had tumbled but the base remained. In January 2007 a student of mine, Michael Beacher Smith passed away, while I was on Everest on the time near his birthday, his family asked if there was something I could do to memorialize Michael on the mountain. Then as now, I made the same walk as this morning and was moved to build Michael and Inukshuk to help him find his way in whatever comes next. The Inuksuk looks across the Khumbu glacier to the summit pyramid of Everest, I had no idea in that moment that the Inuksuk would also become a symbol and a guide for Michaels family in their journey of grief. Today I rebuilt Michaels Inuksuk and sat down by it once again as I had in 2007, as I sat I was filled with a sense of relaxation, trust, and letting go. It can be a challenge in the intensity of the Everest experience to remember, that things do, and will change. The profound weakness that I feel today can be transformed back in profound strength through the alchemy of time, patience, antibiotics, and rest. That illness, like grief and everything else are impermanent and as always the real learning is to accept each moment for what it is. I reflected on yesterdays quote, I am aware that I am beginning again just as my grandmother, my Oma , has had to start over in her life many times. Choosing to attempt Everest again I recognized my Omas courage in beginning again. So today I especially take inspiration from her and respectfully remind everyone that I am raising scholarship funds with this climb in her honor. The “Everest 2010: Mountain of Learning Award” will support and recognize experiential education at memorial University of Newfoundland. Contributions can be made to www.mun.ca.

The rest of the team is still up high, they made an acclimatization foray to camp 2 this morning, and will return to base camp tomorrow morning with lots of stories I am sure. Thanks so much for all of your support and good thoughts I will catch you from tomorrow.

Bye

TA

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Everest 2010: Week Four

April 15 – Housekeeping
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp, the sun has just set behind the ridge so the temperature is about to plummet. I’m sitting in my nicely reorganized tent, today was a rest and reorganization day after yesterdays big day. I actually had to pull everything out of my tent because I had some water leakage. We are camping on a glacier and when the sun hits it, it makes little rivers or you can get some little melt spots and so my mattress had soaked through. So everything came out, up onto the roof to dry and I took the opportunity when I put everything back in to get it all organized and get mountains of fluff back into large sacks so now I should be set for a while as long as I keep the organization system up. I also tied a new tether for my harness as my jumar tether is a little too short for coming down. The Sherpa teams also had a rest day, except their idea of a rest day involved camp maintenance, moving rocks because again because of the intense sun some rocks get teetery so they have to push them down and move them around, prop up some tents, cover up the ice so it can melt less quickly. So they were hard at work, then this afternoon got some rest. I got a shower in, packed my high altitude meds for when I next head up the mountain. It was a kind of funny day, got down to -14.6C last night, looks like a big storm might be coming in with some snow, waiting to see if that is happening. Sunny and cloudy, sunny and cloudy all day, so when the sun is out we bake and when it’s cloudy we freeze. We also headed over to the Everest base camp photo exhibited called “Rivers of Ice, Vanishing Glaciers of the Greater Himalaya” put on by Dave Breashears and the Richard D Bass foundation. It involved photos taken in 2007 and 2008 from the exact spots as archival photographs and you can see the changes in the glaciers due to climate change. Everyone who is anyone at the Everest base camp was there so we made an appearance. It has been a very interesting day, I enjoyed chatting with Ming-mar and Lhak-pa both of whom I worked with at IMG in 2007 and they are over here with Peak Freaks now. Hydrating, hydrating, hydrating, and of course when you do that you then have to dehydrate, dehydrate, dehydrate. So all is well here, tomorrow we will do some hiking

April 16 – Days Like Today
Hi this is TA calling in from the Everest base camp Hilton, I am all snuggly tucked in after a big day. It was actually a tough day for me, probably the first tough day of many for me on this expedition, it finally caught up to me after 20 days. It was a big day we headed from here to Gorak Shep and then climbed Kala Patter, and then hiked back so it was about 5 ½ hours of walking 21872 steps on the pedometer. It was just a tough walk for me, hard to find a rhythm, hard to keep breathing through my nose, just hard all round. I spent much of the day trying to figure out way it was so hard and at some point just gave up and went with the mantra “it just is hard”, and just kept repeating “it just is, it just is.” Some days at altitude are like that, like my buddy Karen says some days are diamonds some days are stone, I’ve been lucky enough to have about 20 days of diamonds, where a lot of my team mates have had a stone day this is my turn. So I’m pooped, got a bit of a headache after heading up to about 5600m. So I’m hydrating, I’m tucked into my lovely little abode with damp clothing hanging along. We had some snow, it dipped to -16.8 last night and at the moment it is only -1.8, so we are wondering if we are going to get a bunch of snow over the next couple of days. Flat Stanley came with me, so he summated Kala Patter today, a big hello to Patricia Edwards’s grade 3 class at CC Loughlin in Cornerbrook Newfoundland. Flat Stanley broke his altitude record today and went to 5600m. He sends his regards, and we got some great pictures of him up on Kala Patter. Hopefully you guys can find some pictures of Kala Patter and the view. We had the most amazing view of the summit pyramid of Everest. It doesn’t appear to have too much snow on it these days and of course the distance from the south col to the summit looks absolutely, positively intimidating on a day like today. We all just looked over and wondered if we would be sitting in the south col a month to 5 weeks from now. In the mean time we will keep hydrating, keep resting, and we will be starting our rotations in the next day or two. The Sherpas are out side my tent at the moment picking up loads for them to carry up tomorrow, probably to camp 1 or camp 2. The other big news, the giant big rock beside my tent decided to fall down today, its on the downhill side so no worries, just as I was walking into camp, so I’m not sure but I may at some point have to move my tent depending on how fast the ice melts on that side. As you can tell I’m tired, my vice isn’t working too well so I’m going to rest a bit, happy TGIF, hope you all have a great weekend.

April 17 – Shake and Bake
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp, it has been a shake and bake day here. Baking this morning in the big sun, as we were packing and getting ready for our big trip up into the ice fall tomorrow. Then this afternoon the shake, as it is only 3:30 and it is already down to freezing. I’m huddled in my warm sleeping bag, feeling the cold a little more then usual, maybe because I’m brewing something, who knows, so that’s a shake and bake kind of day. I’ve been reading a book about stories and customs of the Sherpas and I found a wonderful passage about the three vehicles of Buddhism I wanted to read to you: “The three schools of Buddhism are often explained as paths up a mountain. Hinayana leads to the base of the mountain, here one sees one road and one method. Mahayana is the long gentle road that winds around the mountain to its summit, in this school one sees many roads and decides to take the gradual path. In Vajrayana the practitioner looks beyond the roads and takes the most direct and risky route straight up through the cliffs to enlightenment and liberation at the summit of the mountain.” Defiantly the condition of this years ice fall makes me think that we are on a Vajrayana path of mountaineering on Mount Everest this year, lots of activity there as it has actually been pretty warm for this time of year. So we will go around our alter in the morning, throw some rice, hold up our Lama Geshi cards, and ask for safe passage through the ice fall up to camp one. That’s the scoop from here your thoughts and prayers are appreciated. Catch you from camp one.

April 18 – Patience and Poetry
Hi this is TA calling in from Everest base camp; yes you heard right Everest base camp rather than camp one. After calling in my update yesterday, when I thought I was brewing something, I did indeed spike a good fever. Through the help of the urologist on our team and the Everest ER today we were able to conclude that I have developed a urinary tract infection. So they have started me on a new marvelous drug that turns my urine a bright fluorescent orange. I made the hard decision to stay back, to rest and get better, rather then overly taxing my body trying to get up to camp one. Sort of a sense of déjà view of course, and it was more difficult around the dinner table last night when I was feeling so poorly. However, my fever did actually break last night and I put my inner boots into my bag and said maybe I’ll feel better enough, but cooler heads prevailed through the night when I realized that I’m not at 100% and it didn’t make sense to go up and tax my body as it is fighting this infection. So I spent the day resting reading a book called “walking on Thin Ice: In Pursuit of the North Pole”, and visiting some of the team members here that had gone on early acclimatization forays. The consensus is there is plenty of time, I can get better and head up the mountain on subsequent forays. So I’m looking forward to getting my strength back, because I had been doing so well and being so strong and I actually reached day 23 before visiting the Everest clinic. Thanks to Dr. Luanne Freer at the Everest ER today for her help in getting me all sorted out. I’m drinking lots, trying to stay warm, I had a little spike in fever this afternoon, but I’m hoping I can work through this quickly and without descending so that I can continue to make my way up the mountain. That’s the scoop from here, 14 members of the team are up at camp one having, their first night there, a big day from them. Weather started out wonderfully today for that ascent and then we had our usual afternoon snow fall. That’s it from here at Everest base camp, take care and please send healing thoughts. The quote for today is “what we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is to make a beginning, the end is where we start from, we shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time” TS Elliot Little Gidding from the four quartets.

Have a good day, bye

TA

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Everest 2010: Week Three

Another week and another round of Everest 2010 updates. TA and the crew made it all the way to Everest base camp this week, so now the real climbing begins. As always these updates are being brought to you by Applecore Interactive, RJG Construction, the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit union, and the Egg Producers of Newfoundland and Labrador all proud sponsors of TA’s Everest 2010 expedition. Enjoy!

April 7 – Loboche
Hi this is TA and Marian sitting on a rock above the village of Loboche at about 4910m. We just came down form a wonderful little acclimatization jaunt up the ridge behind Loboche, just to gain a little extra elevation for the day. We were rewarded with our own personal views of Pumori, the ridge that I climb back in 2008, and wonderful views looking across to Nuptse and the western shoulder of Everest. We wont be able to see the summit pyramid of Everest until we are almost on Kala Patthar or almost up to Pumori. But we could pick out where base camp is and we are pretty excited because we will be heading there tomorrow. It was a 3 ½ hour walk up here today from Dingboche. People are feeling the latitude a little bit, others are doing fine, we are all trying to remember to breath deep and drink lots. We are doing our best to stay healthy but there seems to be a little bit of a bug going through the group, causing some expulsion, and then of course and day of not wanting to eat very much. People working hard to get here and we will all be glad to arrive at EBC, Everest base camp. Thanks again for tuning in. Thanks to the folks at the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit Union for coming on board as a sponsor

April 8 – Everest Base Camp AKA Gong Show
Hi this is TA and Marian calling in from my very own base camp tent, here at Everest base camp located very close to the Khumbu Ice fall in the Peak Freaks base camp at about 5340m. It has been a heck of a day, a big arduous walk for many, got in about midday, got tents set up, got some lunch from our amazing kitchen crew. You should see our amazing Sherpa staff, they are absolutely amazing in all the work they have done to transform the glacier into our home for the next two months. Some of the stone work, they have leveled platforms, the kitchen tent is absolutely amazing, we are marveling at their work, and humbled by their strength. Pretty excited to be here, big smiles all round as people realized their goal of getting to base camp as trekkers or getting to base camp to begin the climb as climbers, so big day, exciting day. 20 187 steps for me on the pedometer, about 3 hours of walking for the front end of the line about 5 hours of walking for the end of the line. Arduous day, gained some elevation coming in after a bunch of big trekking day in a row, I think it is about 13 for Marian and I, so well deserved rest here. At the monument I’m calling our tent the “Gong Show” in honor of my brother as we have all of us, plus all our gear in a 2 person tent, so it has been a fun time trying to get it all sorted. Thrilled to be here, feeling strong, managed to achieve goal number 1, which was to get to base camp healthy and strong, excited for a couple days rest and then the adventure continues. Love to everyone in Newfoundland from he Newfoundland crew, I took a bunch of pictures to celebrate our achievement of getting here. We will get you more info on how it is all going to unfold in the next few days. Thanks and have a great day, and don’t forget to “Step Up to the Summit Challenge” with the Recreation Newfoundland and Labrador website. Sign up your team for the challenge today at http://www.recreationnl.com/smallstepsbigresults. Get out there, get active, take some steps, and get out there and climb the mountain with me and the Peak Freaks crew.

April 9 – Everest Hilton
Hi this is TA and Marian calling in our update again from Everest base camp. We are hanging here in our Everest Hilton thanks to the Prith family, my brothers good friends we have a wonderful Everest abode. We are just at that transition point when we are about to loose the sun and the temperature is about to plummet. Here at Everest base camp we are Corning Wear we go from the freezer into the oven, and then back into the freezer again. Temperatures in the tent last night dipped to -5.6C, not too bad, and then at some point today during the peak of the day it was up to 56C in the top of the tent, and now it’s beginning to do its plummet towards freezing again. The pedometer registered no steps today because this was a rest day, the first in 13 days. Did a little engineering with the rocks around the tent, creating a little platform and vestibule where we get in and out. Redirecting some water because already the glacier is in the heat of the day giving off little rivers, so we need to direct them around our tents. We are camped right on the glacier so you can hear the ice especially in the middle of the night grinding and crunching as we move anywhere from a millimeter to a centimeter downhill each day. We also hear snow avalanches, rock avalanches so it is quite the cacophony. The other thing that we heard today was much drumming as we are centered kind of near the icefall, surrounded by other expeditions having their Puja Ceremonies. So we heard chanting and cheers and much much drumming, we look forward to our Puja on Monday. So today is a day of rest, a wonderful shower and some reading and even a little nap so we are all continuing to settle in trying not to burn ourselves to a crisp in the high altitude sun. Just thinking of all of you, the Newfoundland trekkers will be heading out, they will be spending the night in Periche tonight. Got the big Newfoundland flag on the side of the tent, I hear that John Truno the second Newfoundlander to summit Everest is here again as is Al Hancock the first Newfoundlander to summit Everest. So three Newfoundlanders here at base camp, it should be an exciting time.

April 10 – Another Base Camp Day
Hi this is TA and Marian calling in from Everest base camp at about 5300m above sea level. We are in the tent at the moment trying to do some technical trouble shooting with my new phone. On one of my rest days I will try to get all the systems working, but I’m glad I have audio blog.com with Earl as backup making things pretty easy and simple for me. Another rest day here at Everest base camp, Marian and I took a walk about this morning, walked around base camp and figured out where all the various outfitters are located. Visited Everest ER where I got to see Luanne Freer, who started the Everest base camp medical clinic. I met her in 2002 and again in 2007, congratulations to her as she got married here yesterday at base camp. Great to see her again and see her actually completely healthy so that was a wonderful little stop in. Then we came back here and had a wonderful lunch, we are sort of just settling into the hurry up and wait life of base camp. We may do a little training tomorrow, I will actually have to find all my climbing gear amongst all the duffels that have been living in pack-vile. Flat Stanly has been very snug in his sleeping bag here in the wonderful Mountain Hardware tent, and things are going pretty well. We are still being humble by the altitude all of us, as we forget and get weak knees or get dizzy, when we bend over or stand up and almost fall down, but pretty quickly you get the feedback that if you try to move faster then a snails pace that you are living on half as much oxygen here at base camp as you are at sea level. The island peak crew headed out today towards Pareshaya to start their climb, and I imagine our Newfoundland trekkers are hitting Namche Bazaar today and enjoying all of the perks of city life. Here we are enjoying the wonderful camaraderie, looking forward to going to the ice fall through we hear it is not in the best of shape just yet. So we are not in a big hurry to get into the area that the ice fall doctors are trying to work their way around. No steps again today other then the 45 minutes of walking, which I have to admit I forgot to put the pedometer on so my apologies for that. But still get out and start stepping and we will talk to you tomorrow.

Thanks

TA

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